Oh, My Friends. It’s Been A Long Hard Year.

I was musing over a pensive end of year type message, about all kinds of serious nonsense, then realised Greg Lake said it best:

I wish you a hopeful Christmas, I wish you a brave New Year, all anguish pain and sadness, leave your heart and let your road be clear. They said there'll be snow at Christmas. They said there'll be peace on Earth. Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell, the Christmas we get we deserve.

Magic.

So a few festive ditties by The Residents, Low, Mr Hopkinson’s Computer, and Das Wanderlust (off the Filthy Little Angels free end of year download spectacular Hark! The Filthy Angels Sing!), then it’s back to normal when the world starts up again.

All the best.

The Residents - Seasoned Greetings

Low - Long Way Around The Sea

Mr Hopkinson's Computer - Merry Xmas (War Is Over)

Das Wanderlust - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get You

The Sound Of One Hand Clapping

Firstly, a word of advice – when struggling for inspiration, have a dig about in your other half’s record bag. Rarely disappointing, thank you please.

The fruits of the furtive ferreting are a label of love, this time Nost8ment, with their mission to remodel and reclaim punk for the 21st Century. Or something.

In truth, it’s a confirmation of something I’ve been thinking about for a while, not only in music, but in all instances of creation - in their own words, “the process is as important as the results” – the ‘how’ and ‘why’ are as intrinsically important as the ‘what’, something I agree with completely. But does the ‘how’ and ‘why’ need to be understood to give value to the ‘what’? Does the result of the process lose something in being presented in isolation? Answers please to easemytroubledmind@simplesimpledave.com.

Whatever their motivations, the results are commendable, if their recent Caterpillars compilation is anything to go by. Have a look at the Nost8ment website to get hold of it, and the rest of their offerings, and all the rest of the information that satisfies our curiosities, but for the time being, think on the rhythm frenzy of Tiger Piss, and Guanoman’s portrait of my mind.

Tiger Piss – Ain’t Heavy

Guanoman – Gamelama-Fa-Fa-Fa

Next: Festivities

The Fall And Rise Of The Switzerlanders

For many years, the fabled land of Switzerland was a strange and terrible place.

A realm where rabid Edelweiss terrorised the Switzerlanders in the darkest of dark nights, where rivers of briny tears flowed through the cobbled streets, and a general air of indifference haunted every tedious step of every colourless day of every insignificant life.

But when it appeared that all hope had gone, when it appeared that the forces of ordinary had prevailed, when it appeared that a future of Euro-mediocrity was all that remained, The Heroes appeared, and the tide of the battle turned.

United under the banner of Yello Boris Blank (collector of sound and librarian of noise), Carlos Peron (recorder of life and diviner of sequence) and Dieter Meier (millionaire playboy and gambler) came together in the early 80s to wipe the apathy from the very soul of the Switzerlanders, and to replace it with a synthetic happiness that endures to this very day.

Through careful selection of Blank’s infinite collection of recorded and catalogued samples, Meier’s sinister yet ultimately amusing musings, and Peron’s mastery of the taping, they created anthem after anthem that not only removed the insipid veil from the heart of their homeland, but also The World. Never again would Switzerland be so very, very boring.

It is only right that we salute heroes such as these. So, please be upstanding, and lusty of voice and soul, for Yello:

Yello – Take It All

Yello – The Evening’s Young

The Path of The Swiss Enlightenment

UFO REPORT FORM

Please complete the following:

Date: ___/___/___
Time:__________am/pm
Weather Conditions:


Name:
Address:

Post Code:
Telephone:
Scene of sighting:
E-MAIL:
Home:
Elsewhere:

Where first seen:
Angle above horizon:
Witnesses:
Direction of travel:
Where last seen:
Speed:
Height:
Duration of sighting:
Aircraft nearby?:
Colour:
Shape:
Size:
Manoeuvers?:
Solid mass?:
What would you liken it to?:

Further details:

Did it do anything unusual?:
Can you liken it to any known object?:

Send a copy of this report to: sterlingroswell@hotmail.com

Sterling Roswell – Girl From Orbit

Sterling Roswell - AAA Tripmaker Communique No. 1

For updates on previous sightings please refer here and here.

Like Hell On a Jetski

Right, there is business to be had, so please be settling down.

Firstly, encouraging news from Yoko, Oh No! who report success in their recent experiment to translate human brain thought into soundwaves.

By connecting a human brain to a Commodore 64, in turn connected to a Betamax Video Cassette Recorder, and bombarding the brain with ‘external influences’, a number of ‘audio-thought transmissions’ have been ‘recorded’.

Please refer to the diagram and the audio-thought transmissions below:



Yoko, Oh No! – Double Dingers

Yoko, Oh No! – Bubble Act

Yoko, Oh No! – Michael J Sexwolf

Special dispensation will be awarded for anyone who can correctly identify the external influences used for each audio-thought transmission. Keep track of progress here and here.

Secondly, a reminder of tomorrows Extraordinary General Meeting, which is compulsory attendance. Details are as follows, no excuses will be tolerated:

02 December 2006
Rubbish & Nasty
308 New Cross Road
London
SE14

2pm to 6pm - Afternoon Session (in the Ground Floor Conference Room):

Shitmat
EBola
DJ Sorry
MDMA
Judith Priest
Ital Tek

6pm to ‘late’ - Evening Session (in the Basement Conference Room):

Yeborobo
Cleckhuddersfax
Man Aubergine
Dude War
Vindicatrix
Librarians

Refreshments will be available throughout, as well as the fine selection of local amenities that are at hand. Minutes will be made available next week.



Any other business? No? Then be off with you.