The 1990s Made My Stereo Explode

Following on from Dancer’s post below I would like to make a confession.

Country music and I have a ‘difficult’ relationship. I almost always experience the strange sensation, having just listened to another twanging tale of lonesomeness/alcoholism/poverty set in the cattle ranches of Texas/old Indian trails of Colorado/deserts of New Mexico, of wanting to immediately listen to some FIERCE TECHNO instead. I don’t know why this happens to me – I just know that I like it.

In ascending order of fierceness, I now present to you three tunes that - if played loud enough – have the power to make birds fall from the sky, bring down religions and even make time stop (then rewind a bit, stop again, get confused and eventually think to itself 'what the hell, let’s just go a bit mental').

First up on the 'decks' is Cubik by 808 State. Starting with a whooping alarm, a warning in itself, it wastes no time in introducing the now classic UGH-UGH-UGH-UGH-UGHHH riff which surely caused more parents of the 90s to bellow ‘turn that music down’ than any other tune.

Especially look out for the middle section, which goes a bit skippy, turns back on itself, breaks down completely in a frenzy of feedback and then launches back into the growling riff and scatter-gun beats that can make small children cry.



808 State - Cubik


Next up we have Moaner by Underworld, taken from their bizarrely underrated 1998 Beaucoup Fish album. Words that you might use to describe this song would be ‘sinister’, ‘aggressive’, ‘angry’, ‘blimey’, ‘that noise is making my speakers melt’, ‘that’s a lot of drums’ and ‘yesohyesohyes’.

As usual nobody has any idea what Carl Hyde is talking about – but full marks for using the phrase ‘I am dubious arab metal’. As a fun game, try taking your pulse before listening to this track and then taking it again at the end.



Underworld - Moaner


King of our fierce three, however, is The Prophet by CJ Bolland. It is literally impossible. I genuinely believe that it doesn’t exist. It can’t do – there are laws of physics that it doesn’t obey. It starts with a sample of some mad evangelist, moves through some build-up drums then, after a couple of minutes, introduces the hook line. So far, so normal.

But wait – what’s this? After about three minutes you will hear our evangelising friend utter the words "Come With Me". And you will. Now at this point remember – it’s OK to raise your hands and pump your fists in the privacy of your own room, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Maybe you think it stops there but no, my friends, CJ doesn’t let us off that easily. He just does it all again. Lots of times. With more drums each time. It’s a simple but effective formula and one that not many people know was first proposed by Einstein when explaining how time and gravity interact. The original formula was E=mcDRUMS.



CJ Bolland - The Prophet


Strangely, having got that out of my system, I will want to listen to some Patsy Cline to calm me down again. Up and down, up and down.


Crisp Debris


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