I Don't Want To Play Anymore

If a middle aged man walked into a school today, and asked if he could touch some children, whilst wired up to a strange machine of his own twisted construction, it might not go down too well. In fact, I speak from experience when I say it wouldn’t go down well at all.

And if a middle aged man walked into a television studio today, and started fondling the heads of the celebrities of the day, all the while sucking on some kind of tube, it might not be that well received. In fact, it’s probable that he would be ejected from the building, and called a ‘nonce’ to boot. Sticks and stones, I know, but words can still hurt. Oh yes, they can still hurt...

Bruce Haack never had these kinds of problems. So what is it that separates a man like me and a man like Bruce? Apart from a number of restraining orders, 260 hours of community service still to complete, and a regular feature on Crimewatch?

For a start, I haven’t built myself a whole studio full of synthetic noise-makers, without any kind of background in electronics, pretty much unlike anything that has gone before, and which was borne out of a savant-like talent for music. No, I haven’t done that.

I haven’t made a whole load of lunatic records for kids throughout the 60s and 70s, which included tracks like Bored Of Education, the vaguely upsetting This Old Man (which came with the sinister promise that he would get inside your mind), and School For Robots, which included strict instructions on how a robot should dance. No, I haven’t done that either.



Bruce Haack – School For Robots


Then, interspersed with all the crazy mind-mental records for the kiddies, I haven’t recorded an album for the adults, which is all about how well bad war is, and about death, and the devil, and proper grown up stuff like that, which sounds like it could have been made tomorrow, but was actually made nearly forty years ago. I had a go at doing that, but it was rubbish.



Bruce Haack – Electric To Me Turn

Bruce Haack – War

Bruce Haack – Song Of The Death Machine


So apart from that, I can’t really see much difference. Some people just can’t see the genius before them. The school kids didn’t even mind that much...

Bruce Haack died in 1988, but by that time had made at least sixteen records for everyone. A documentary about him came out not too long ago, which is really rather good, and his albums are becoming easier and easier to track down (in that you don’t have to speak Japanese and work out Japanese websites to get them anymore).

Get as many as you can (although Hush Little Robot is as good a start as any), and play them VERY, VERY LOUDLY outside of primary schools.

The kids need Bruce.


Tiny Dancer


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