The Morning Seems So Grey

New Years Eve is generally rubbish I find. It's pretty much a night like any other, although it costs four times as much to do anything, and is compounded by a pressure to enjoy yourself which almost certainly ensures that you probably won't.

Up until last year, for two years in a row I found myself doing the deejaying on New Years Eve. The first year was in a basement in Soho, which held a maximum of 50 people, at a push. The drink was relatively cheap, and I found myself greeting the new year in a double bed that was not my own, having banished it's owner to her living room, after falling asleep at some critical point. It was a shameful performance, which was compounded by a swift exit and a walk of shame around a grey and windy South London. One highlight though, was getting on a bus with a man wearing a fez, the memory of which stands out like a lighthouse in a storm.

The second year was at the sadly demised Spitz. In a rare display of learning a lesson, I managed to make it home without too much disgrace, but with a definite feeling of under achievement. Cake, eat it, all that. Anyway.

It was all a bit hard work, after an unnamed assailant spilt red wine all over the mixer, making it fizz a bit, then crackle a bit, then blow up a bit. The back up mixer was made of wood and didn't really work, which made anticipating what was going to play next a bit of an interesting game. I lost quite a few times, although hopefully not as many times as was realised by the poor paying punters. Brilliant.

And so this year I leave these hallowed shores, for lands of golden sands and grape eating and that, just long enough for the new year's hell to pass me by. If you remain, I can only wish you luck - and leave you these few songs and a little something to help you relive the magic again and again and again and again and again and again. They are a disparate band, but they seemed to do the trick both years when they were asked. Until I return, my friends...



Sultans Of Ping FC - Where's Me Jumper?



Bis - Eurodisco



Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - The Only Living Boy In New Cross



Big Ben - The Chimes Of Midnight


Tiny Dancer


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It's Not Over Yet

Although the "indecently popular" Tiny Dancing Christmas Podcast covered most of our end of year thoughts on what we liked in 2007, due to general inane rambling and offensive content, the suggestions for best gigs of the year were unfortunately consigned to the 'cutting room floor', where they will forever reside, and rightly so.

If memory serves, most enjoyed Arcade Fire whenever they saw them, Stardust particularly liked Black Kids when they were in London at the start of December, and Debris needed to get out more.

My vote went to Boredoms, at Shoreditch Town Hall in October. I think I might have tried to put something together immediately in the aftermath, but my tiny brain wasn’t, and indeed isn’t up to doing them justice in writing – the best I came up with was something along the lines of "ninety minutes of drumming triplication… whilst Eye plays a wall of guitars with a broom handle… and the crowd go all round and tribal". Very poor.

So, here instead is a visual account of it by someone more talented than I, and the first three songs from Vision Creation Newsun, which goes some way to hinting at what Boredoms live is all about, but in truth, only scratches the surface.


Boredoms – (Circle)

Boredoms – (Star)

Boredoms – (Heart)


Buy as many albums as you can, lots of them are here, but if the opportunity to see them live presents itself, you must go. Must.


Tiny Dancer


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-180

Sometimes, I can be a bit slow. Most of the time, I like to think I’m just about keeping up. Very occasionally, I like to think I distinguish myself. But sometimes, I can be a bit slow. With Negativland, I’ve been a bit slow.

Knocking around doing their subversive thing since the 70s, revered and celebrated in these times of corporate social irresponsibility, modern day David to record company Goliath, all this passed me by until recently.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Good Lord Dancer, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a beacon to us all. You make our lives better. We love you.’ And I know that. But for me, that’s not enough. Such is the curse of the perfectionist... But enough.

More cut and shunt terrorists than sweetly harmonious musicians, Negativland got by doing their thing until they crossed swords with U2, or more specifically their then label Island Records. Thence, there did come corporate buggery of the sort that would bring a small nation to their knees at the altar of the money. Negativland did not bend completely though, and they fight on - but that’s a story that’s been told before elsewhere, and it serves no purpose to tell it again now. If you give a monkeys (and you should), it’s all here. If you don’t give a monkeys, you should read this anyway. Honestly, read it.

And as a final word on the matter, in the aim of providing a bit of perspective, this is what the fuss was all about.



Negativland – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (Special Edit Radio Mix)


Exactly.

To now skilfully bring this informative yet entertaining piece of writing back round to the original point, demonstrating in the process both wit and intellect, with Negativland, I’ve been a bit slow. The reason I’ve got there eventually, is the 180-Gs.

Consisting of the five or six Minnick brothers, 180-Gs were nought but local gospel singers in Detroit, until the Reverend Al "Sugar" Sweet got his holy hands on them, and pointed them in Negativland’s divine direction. That’s a truncated version of events, but even the full tale doesn’t quite ring true. As much as it could be, it still all kind of reeks of Negativland if you ask me.

So we have 180 D’Gs To The Future, an album of Negativland covers, consisting of Reverend Al’s favourites one would presume, in a modern gospel style, all rendered by this band of brothers. The machinations behind it disappear to insignificance when the results are heard, for it is good. For direct comparison, here is their version of the U2 single, and also Intro (Everything’s Going Fine) (originally on Negativland) and A Nice Place To Live (originally on Points).



180-Gs – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

180-Gs – Intro (Everything’s Going Fine)

180-Gs – A Nice Place To Live


And thus we come full circle. There’s so little information out there, it’s difficult to work out exactly what’s going on. Is it a real fraternal choir directed by a Reverend who revels in cultural nonsensing? Is it the next step in Negativland’s plan to destroy everyone’s brain? I don’t know - but Wilson tells us, when you have to choose between the truth and the legend, choose the legend. That'll do for me.

Negativland are in the process of releasing a lot of their old stuff, see what you fancy from here – and if that’s all a bit much, the usual types will no doubt sort you out. Get the 180-Gs album from here.


Tiny Dancer


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Love – Part One: We Are Ugly But We Have The Music

When I was but a boy I used to listen to Capital FM. Back then it was the glory days of "Doctor" (an honorary title I believe) Fox, Pat Sharpe and Mick Brown. Whilst they weren’t exactly cutting edge even then, they were a welcome alternative from a Radio 1 that was very much in the doldrums. Every year Capital would do their Top 500 Songs Of All Time and it was a must for a certain 15 year old and his tape recorder (that’s what we used to do to get free music before all this downloading stuff happened).

You see, back then I wasn’t really into "proper music"; that all started with The Beatles 67-70 compilation, REM and the purchase of a Lemonheads t-shirt before I’d heard any of their music whilst on a school trip to Derbyshire. My first two "gigs" were Michael Jackson at Wembley Stadium on the Dangerous Tour and Bryan Adams at Wembley Arena. I stand by both of these as they were pretty fantastic. Can you believe BA played for three and a half hours? Can you believe he even had that many songs?

Anyway, this penchant for pop and soft rock was very well catered for by Capital Radio. This was just before the Britpop years when REM and Nirvana were the only bands making it onto the charts that weren’t produced by Pete "The Old Grey" Waterman (imagine if he had got his magic hands on In Utero, it might actually be listenable...). Both bands would be represented in the Top 500, with Everybody Hurts generally featuring quite high up because The Great British Public, they adore their love songs you see. The top spot was generally a 3-way battle between Careless Whisper, Everything I Do (I Do it for You) and, the aberration, Bohemian Rhapsody which people think must be good because it’s long and they don’t understand it.

The love song also had a permanent home, or zone, on Capital in the form of The Love Zone, hosted I think by Charlie Jordan at the time, although I may be wrong there. A lot of my favourite songs still probably date back to that show and may hopefully explain my misguided affection for More Than Words by Extreme. Recently it came to mind that most of the bands I like nowadays can be a little shy of writing "direct" love songs. If they venture there at all it’s generally heavy with metaphor and almost certainly doesn’t feature the word 'love'. It seems almost impossible for the indie kids of today to put together a compilation expressing their love for their beau without mortally offending them. So I’ve decided to try to help them out.

First up is one that is quite personal to me and reminds me of a particular girl and that is First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes. It’s the ultimate in the genre of "I’m a bit rubbish at this kind of thing but please stick with me because I love you", see also Woman by John Lennon for the Love Zone equivalent:

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home



Bright Eyes – First Day Of My Life


If you like Bright Eyes then I’d say his best collection is Lifted. Get it from here.


Next up is My Winding Wheel by Ryan Adams. This is in the "I’m in love but it makes me a bit sad" category. It’s about being in love when you don’t have the self-confidence of a cartoon character or a Hip Hop star. Full of aching yearning and vulnerability and confusion and insecurity and…well, just loveliness. From the Love Zone think Just My Imagination by The Temptations.

So buy a pretty dress
And wear it out tonight
For all the boys you think could out do me
Or better still be my winding wheel



Ryan Adams – My Winding Wheel


Get Heartbreaker from here.


Next up we have My Wandering Days Are Over by Belle and Sebastian which is firmly in the genre of "I have found the answer and the answer is you". From the Love Zone think Queen’s You’re My Best Friend. Tell him/her to ignore the stuff about Circus Boys and Disenchanted Ponies...

You know my bip-bopping days are over
I hung my boots up and then retired from the disco floor
Now the centre of my so called being is
The space between your bed and wardrobe with the louvre doors



Belle and Sebastian – My Wandering Days Are Over


I’m sure everyone is already aware of the mighty B&S but if not then get the Push Bar Man To Open Old Wounds collection, then Tigermilk, then If You’re Feeling Sinister and have your life changed.


Finally we have If I Should Fall Behind by Bruce Springsteen. This is something that probably would have appeared on the Love Zone itself if they had been aware of it. My friends had this as their first dance at their wedding, so it’s that kind of thing, but The Boss style. I’m going to see him on 14th so fingers crossed he plays this! The sentiment is beautiful and I can’t think of any better way to describe wanting to be with someone for the rest of your life.

We said we’d walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we’re walkin a hand should slip free
Ill wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me



Bruce Springsteen – If I Should Fall Behind


It’s on Lucky Town, so get it from here.


So that’s to start you off. If you use them let me know how it goes. Tiny Dancing - the web-site that not only gives you great songs but also helps get you laid... that’s our new tag-line.

Coming soon – The Break Up Songs


Ricky Stardust


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1+2+3+1+2+1+2+3+1+2+3+1+2+1+2+3+1+2+3

It’s been a fair old while since I posted anything NEW! and EXCITING! on here, and that saddens me. I’ve been trying to decide whether it’s because I’ve been horrifically lax in trying to find the NEW! EXCITING! stuff, or whether it’s not trying to find me, or if maybe it’s not out there at all. The last option makes me feel all nervous, and I reckon I’d be better off not entertaining it in the slightest. So, to save my fragile soul, I’m going to say it’s a bit of a mix between the first two. It’s not me, it’s you. It’s not you, it’s me. We’re both big enough to admit it, so let’s move on from this regrettable situation, and no more be said.

Teeth Mountain are one my favourite things I’ve heard in ages. I’ve deleted that and re-written it about five times, because when I re-read it, it sounds like the kind of crass statement that a seven year old would flinch at. But, each time I’ve deleted I’ve written it again. And now I’m not worried, because I think it might be true. Blimey.

A totally chance encounter (proving there’s life in the old dog yet) led me to their door on an evening wander, and amongst the nauseating background sat diamonds. Musically, there are shades of this, elements of that, but I’m far too discreet to get involved in that kind of business. We’re not fools. Photos suggest that it’s a result of an upsettingly free collaboration, with the kind of thoroughly controlled bedlam that most bands could only dream of. Saws are bowed, drums are banged by whoever fancies a go, percussion abound, cellos drone, hints of electronic devilry, everything everywhere. It should easily be wrong, but it’s really not.

A couple of the gems are stashed safely below, and a quick word with the chief perpetrator suggests that at this early stage, there’s not much more to be had – what there is can be found and hoarded here. A raft of live shows in America in January suggests things are starting to get going. It shouldn’t be long before they get serious, and a right minded type brings them across the seas. Until then, bask in the beauty.



Teeth Mountain – Keinsein

Teeth Mountain – Soft Beast


Tiny Dancer


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Hours Of Darkness

I’m writing this at 4.20am. I woke up about an hour ago from dehydration due to an altercation with alcohol that has been going on for a few days. Rather than lie festering in bed I decided to get up and do some work for my day job; however software issues and a moment of clarity meant I soon binned that out and decided to listen to the Hatton fight and piss about on the net.

We recorded the Christmas Podcast about 10 hours ago and I think it went pretty well, apart from a rambling last section where even I was getting bored (now edited down to an almost sense making 4 minutes - Dancer) and the usual side-track into death and blowjobs. Afterwards we got to talking about posts we were "planning" (I use that term very loosely) and I claimed I was going to do something on "credible love-songs", kind of a Magic FM for indie kids. But not today.

Aside - Tom Jones has just sung God Save The Queen before the fight. It was truly magnificent. Now the Hatton fans are booing The Star Spangled Banner which has got to be a bad move on US soil. Guantanamo is going to be full of chavs tonight.

In a post from a little while ago Tiny Dancer mentioned the fact that I’d once had a successful shopping experience on Amazon Japan. This pretty much consisted of me cutting and pasting things into an on-line translator. It could have been messy; I could have ended up with some Japanese techno. Or a Moby album (Debris is threatening a Moby post just to annoy me).

What I got was Absolute Classic Masterpieces Volume 2, the second Felt best of which I believe was only released in Japan. The first Volume opened the world of Felt to me but only covered the first half of their career so the second became a must have. When it arrived I discovered a beautiful booklet inside, but was soon gutted to realise that whilst the lyrics are in English, the sleeve notes, written by one Hidetsugu Ito, are only in Japanese.

Now, this was particularly disappointing to me as I’m something of a connoisseur of sleeve notes and Absolute Classic Masterpieces Volume 1 is a great example of the genre. If you haven’t read them then it’s essentially just a long interview with Nick Gilbert who was a founder member of the band but left after a couple of years. The interview is hilarious with some really great insights and brilliant turns of phrase. I think my favourite being

Tony Race, the temporary drummer, got kicked out. His curly hair was definitely against him

or

Me and Maurice would gang up on him a bit and play these heavy guitar riffs saying "This is really good." He’d be going "Fuck off, this is heavy metal." He was so obsessed that nothing could sound like heavy metal, which was fine. I was exactly the same but it was just to wind him up

The best thing about it though is that Gilbert seems to have taken very little interest in the band after he left so he mentions things and then generally confesses a lack of knowledge about it. So Maurice Deebank’s solo record is dealt with in the following way:

He made his own L.P. in the end. I’ve got a copy but I’ve never bothered playing it

For some reason I’ve got two copies and I can tell you it’s brilliant. However I don’t think it’s ever been released on cd so you may need to do a bit of work to get it.

Another great example of classic sleeve notes is from Where’d You Learn To Kiss That Way?, which is a collection of songs by The Field Mice. I won’t go into too much detail here as I think I might go back to bed as Hatton got a hiding and I’m starting to feel a bit sick but it’s written by someone who used to work for the record company and who dated a member of the band and it’s an excellent overview of The Field Mice and the indie scene in the eighties in general. I sold the record as I couldn’t really get into the music but I photocopied the notes first.

In these downloading days it looks like sleeve notes will disappear so we should treasure the ones we have. If you’ve got some favourites let me know in a comment below or if you’re shy you can email me by clicking on the picture of the genius Chris Waddle at the top. Also if anyone has Absolute Classic Masterpieces Volume 2 and in the spirit of the festive season can give me an English translation of the notes I’d be full of teary eyed gratitude. If you haven’t got it, get it. From here.

Here are some songs by Felt from ACM V2.



Felt – Ballad Of The Band

Felt – I Didn’t Mean To Hurt You

Felt – I Will Die With My Head In Flames


Ballad Of The Band is probably my favourite; anyone who has ever tried to lead a group of men in a general direction should be able to sympathise with Lawrence’s slagging off of each of his band members in turn. The other songs are great as well; God I love this band.

If you want to hear more then ACM V1 is a great place to start for the early stuff (get it here) and then get Poem Of The River (from here) and Forever Breathes The Lonely Word (from here) which are two of my favourite albums ever.

Stardust must sleep now.


Ricky Stardust


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The Christmas You Get You Deserve

Following the "unprecedented success" of the first Tiny Dancing Podcast, the excuse of approaching Christmas was not one we could pass up.

Despite the stacked odds from the previous night, including Stardust's medieval romancing, Debris' nocturnal wandering and Dancer having to break into his own house, we would not be deterred - and so please be humble and joyous for Christmas favourites, the best songs of 2007, and something a little bit special at the end.

Merry Christmas. We love you.


Tiny Dancing Christmas Podcast



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The Seven Deadly Sins Of Tiny Dancing - Part One: Pride

Debris: Ah, yes – pride. That foolish, fickle sin that can cause so much evil in the world – the proud president refusing to admit to his mistaken war; the patriot whose pride in his own country has spilled into hatred against all others; the “I can play all the instruments and produce the whole thing myself” pride behind Terence Trent D’Arby’s disastrous second album...

But of all the seven deadly sins, surely pride is the most likely to also be a positive thing? The pride a parent feels at their child’s achievements? The pride a man feels in a job well done?

Being a glass half-full kind of guy, with this one I’m going for the positive spin, so check out Foolish Fool by Cynthia Richards (originally recorded by Dee Dee Warwick but this is the version that I know and love). It’s a simple song of proud love as Cynthia laughingly suggests that her love rival has got to be a crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy girl to think that she would ever stand a chance of breaking her and Cynth’s man up. Now that’s the sort of girl every guy wants.



Cynthia Richards – Foolish Fool


Stardust: It’s a small step from pride and confidence in your abilities to hubris and one I must be careful not to take every day of my life. They call me a genius; say I’ve crafted the greatest pop songs of my time and that I’m single-handedly beating the Beatles at their own game, but I need to keep a grip on reality and not believe my own hype. I’ve just released one of the biggest, and arguably the best, single of all time and I’ve got another one nearly finished that’s going to even blow that one out of the water (if I can figure out how to put all the pieces together...). I can do anything! But what next? I know; I’m going to write something like Good Vibrations again, except it’s going to be about vegetables and how good they are for you. I’ll even call it Vegetables, or maybe Vega-Tables if I want to get a little w*nky about it. It’ll be the biggest selling single ever in the history of the world. Me and the boys will be singing it at the Superbowl (although I’m not sure I like the idea of going outside – I like my sandpit)! Starving people in other countries that I haven’t heard of will be selling their wells to buy it! Mothers will call their daughters Brian! Sure, my head hurts, I’m putting on a little weight, I think Phil Spector is bugging my toilet and my arsehole cousin has got some problems with my friend’s poems... but I’m a genius, I’m king of the world, nothing can possibly go wrong!!!



The Beach Boys – Vegetables


Dancer: I don’t like Damon Albarn. I like Blur. I like Alex James, I like Graham Coxon, I don’t mind Dave Rowntree. But Damon Albarn, I don’t like. There are doubtlessly lots of reasons for that, and I would be both boring and bitter if I listed them, so I think I can encapsulate them in his Bono endorsed teaboy turn for the Bedingfields et al at the recording of Band Aid 20, despite the fact that he wasn’t even invited. Horrifying. Have some pride, man.


OILY WATER

Lead in me and me in water
Dangling in my world
I swallowed too much oily water
It keeps dripping down my spine

In a sense of self decline
Growing fat on sound
It’s only an early morning dream
And the whole world will be alright

My head is full of suspicion
I’m coming home sometime
I’ve swallowed too much oily water
It keeps slipping down my spine

In a sense of self decline
Lying on my back
It’s only an early morning dream
And so the whole world will be alright


From Modern Life Is Rubbish



Blur – Oily Water


From time to time I have a conversation with Stardust, about the status of Damon Albarn as one of our greatest living song writers. Stardust is for, and I tend to be emphatically against.

Stardust argues me into the tiniest of corners, and despite the fact that he is absolutely right, in the absence of anything else to do, I stick my metaphorical fingers in my allegorical ears and fall back against innate dislike. In the end, I have to rely on unfortunate belligerence to wheedle my way out of admitting that, yes, he is absolutely right.


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A Lovely Day

Browsing through The Guardian’s 1,000 Albums To Hear Before You Die a couple of weeks back I spotted an album that sounded like it might be right up my street; Virginia Astley’s From Gardens Where We Feel Secure. Here’s what The Guardian said about it:

"Astley's ambient meditation on a summer's day in Arcadia is so bucolic it makes Nick Drake sound like Ghostface Killah. Garden gates creak, church bells toll, birds twitter and Astley's piano sparkles like sunlight on the surface of a mill pond. Possibly the most English album ever made."

"I’ll have a bit of that" thought I and immediately purchased it from Amazon for the princely sum of £5.98, which was daft really ‘cos if you go straight to everyone’s favourite label Rough Trade’s website you can pick it up for 98p less. Although if you choose Super Saver delivery on Amazon it’s free whereas Rough Trade charge a quid, meaning that you’d actually be 2p better off with Amazon. But Amazon sent me a Seinfeld boxset where the third disc doesn’t work properly, so "balls to them" say I.

Virginia is not exactly what you would call prolific (From Gardens... was recorded in 1983 and is currently her only album that it seems to be easy to get a hold of) but she does have a very lovely website which is well worth a look. Check out the Features page and click on the From Gardens... link under Miscellaneous for some pretty pictures and words that help sum up the whole album.

For it is, indeed, a thing of beauty. As a self-confessed ambient music champion – to the extent that I was briefly nicknamed The Anaesthetist as a teenager - it was love at first hearing. I think it might be the most peaceful album I have ever heard and does indeed achieve its aim of creating an atmosphere of English country calm. Here’s a couple of tracks from the album to get you in the mood.



Virginia Astley - With My Eyes Wide Open I’m Dreaming


Virginia Astley – Summer Of Their Dreams


To my mind it also has echoes of Delius – take a listen to On Hearing The First Cuckoo Of Spring – and contrary to what The Guardian think, a hint of Nick Drake on his most delicate songs, like Which Will.



Frederick Delius – On Hearing The First Cuckoo Of Spring



Nick Drake – Which Will


Get a nice Delius collective from here, and treat yourself to the recently released Nick Drake box set, Fruit Tree, from here.

All in all, very nice things and much better than wars and poverty and death and all that sort of unfortunate business.


Crisp Debris


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